Hello, again.

I do not know what is it with me and the constant need to run from things whenever life throws lemons at me.

I know I shouldve come up with millions recipes of lemonade variation by now.
"When life throws you lemon, you make lemonade" (? - me, forever lame but whatevrs)

--

I hope no one finds me here. Or at least no one I know.
Life has been a bit weird. I at one point really do my own company.
Also, I used to be so in love and passionate in what I (used to) do.

Not anymore.
Or not yet.
All I can think of is fill up my piggy bank and take a year off.
Off finding myself or off finding and be close to my Creator.

During my visit to Sabah last month, I had so many monologues and I have never felt that close with the Creator, i felt like sobbing of happiness. I see millions of stars (literally millions!) in the darkest night at 4am-ish hike and again, i felt like sobbing. I felt how tiny I was, how there are more to life than work, relationships, pleasing people and fitting in.

That I don't really need most of the things I want/have.

Y'know? Such an ethereal and surreal feeling.

Alhamdulillah for the chance of really pursuing my fitness project last year. I lost quite a bit, gained a bit of confidence like mad woman (I do feel like I'm way too much to handle sometimes, now) and somehow the pretty ok looking side of me that I never thought was there before.

I feel like this year is all about finding my Creator, be close to Him and let things be.

I hope my July project will become a reality and a smooth sailing at that. Looking forward to spend a bit of my time to learn how to fast outside of my comfort zone, be away from everyone and learn a thing or two of being a human being that is not tied to any nationality.

I hope I will find love, or love will find me because tbh, I need that. I think it is frikkin time.  (lol)

Maybe I should really saves up and see where my bank account can take me, no?

xx,
Me.